today i had a fucking revelation.
every single guy i liked, like really truly liked, has ended up ghosting me in the past. days of making out and hanging out just to be left on read and never spoken to again. the universe has been trying to tell me this entire time that this- this is not a time for me to be falling head over heels for men, trying to get into a relationship. no bitch, this is my time to be free and crazy and fun. the disappointing part about this is that deep down, i am such a little hopeless romantic. i want something that lasts, i want a real relationship. i've never been the girl to sleep with random men off tinder, but that's what the universe wants me to be. and you know what? i don't want to be that girl. i'm 21 now. people say this is the beginning of the years in which one like i should just have fun, no strings attached. i don't want that. that's my last resort honestly. but what do i do now? wait for ten years until i finally find someone to fall in love with me?
i got invited to a bonfire tonight. i guess maybe this could be my last shot at trying to have a real relationship with someone before i just give up? i won't say his name. it's a pretty average one, though. but you guys.... he's INCREDIBLY gorgeous. i'm pretty sure i've had a fat crush on this guy since i was what, 14? we finally messaged each other after all these years just the other night. and now we're finally going to meet. i don't want to be too hopeful. i know what my past looks like. but this guy? so far, he's very genuine. i'm not saying i think he likes me, but if he does, he's very good at keeping in contact. which no other fucking guy in my past has even tried to do. so we'll see what happens. i'm very excited. i'll talk to you later, maybe write a little tomorrow morning about how tonight goes? i gotta start getting ready. i gotta be cute, but casual, but oh so cute.
every single guy i liked, like really truly liked, has ended up ghosting me in the past. days of making out and hanging out just to be left on read and never spoken to again. the universe has been trying to tell me this entire time that this- this is not a time for me to be falling head over heels for men, trying to get into a relationship. no bitch, this is my time to be free and crazy and fun. the disappointing part about this is that deep down, i am such a little hopeless romantic. i want something that lasts, i want a real relationship. i've never been the girl to sleep with random men off tinder, but that's what the universe wants me to be. and you know what? i don't want to be that girl. i'm 21 now. people say this is the beginning of the years in which one like i should just have fun, no strings attached. i don't want that. that's my last resort honestly. but what do i do now? wait for ten years until i finally find someone to fall in love with me?
i got invited to a bonfire tonight. i guess maybe this could be my last shot at trying to have a real relationship with someone before i just give up? i won't say his name. it's a pretty average one, though. but you guys.... he's INCREDIBLY gorgeous. i'm pretty sure i've had a fat crush on this guy since i was what, 14? we finally messaged each other after all these years just the other night. and now we're finally going to meet. i don't want to be too hopeful. i know what my past looks like. but this guy? so far, he's very genuine. i'm not saying i think he likes me, but if he does, he's very good at keeping in contact. which no other fucking guy in my past has even tried to do. so we'll see what happens. i'm very excited. i'll talk to you later, maybe write a little tomorrow morning about how tonight goes? i gotta start getting ready. i gotta be cute, but casual, but oh so cute.