my friend won't text me back and i'm suicidal; if he'd just talk to me i think it'd help. why is he ignoring me in the first place? we were hanging out only two days ago. nothing bad happened between us. i'm always there when he needs me, why won't he be here for me? i need to go.
Although I don't totally believe in zodiac garbage, I will say that the past two guys I've liked have been cancers. And they did N O T work out. Obviously. The first one was really lovey dovey, relationship-potential for like a week and then became the biggest asshole I've ever met (aka the guy I was saying may have took my virginity. The other one just says he isn't looking for a relationship atm, although I'm "really pretty and my music taste is amazing." But whatever.
There's a friend of mine who's probably one of my best friends and he told me he liked me in his car like a week ago. I played it off and pretended to be clueless about it but to be honest, I've always known. I just don't know. I don't know if I'd ever date this guy, even if he's not a cancer. I like our friendship a lot. It's probably best to remain a friendship. If something happened between us and then ended, and I didn't have him anymore to talk to or hang out with, it'd depress the fuck out of me. He knows like all of my secrets. I tell him everything, even when I don't want anyone to know about something. It's like I just feel comfortable talking to him about my life.
I get to see him in a few days, he was out of town. I'm excited.
So something I think is incredibly cool about this blog is the fact that literally nobody knows who's behind the keyboard. None of you know who I am, and that's incredibly refreshing in some way. I can be brutally honest about some aspects of my life and it's all okay. You can judge me, but you can't really judge ME, you know? I think I'm definitely going to put more use to this blog. So get ready for that.
And I know this is a blog about me and my life, but if you guys feel like commenting anything about yourselves, feel free. As much as I may seem like I don't care, I actually do care about you guys. I mean, I'm writing to you all with some pretty personal info. I think we're already pretty close ;)
Guys, there is SO MUCH I have to tell you!
First things first, I'm not a virgin anymore. It happened a few months ago and to be honest, I'm not even happy about it. He turned out to be the biggest piece of shit, so of course I have my regrets. We didn't even fully have sex, I pushed him off of me so many times, maybe it didn't even count?? Maybe I'm still a virgin!
Anyhow, I've decided to start working on myself starting tomorrow. Both physically, mentally, and emotionally. And I really need to cut the toxic people out of my life. Remember when I mentioned having no friends? I actually miss that. And the guy I might have lost my virginity to? I spent the night at his house last night. He kept making out with me and continuously tried to fuck me. But I've learned that its really something I could never want from him. Everything about him disgusts me. He's definitely never hearing from me again. I've already blocked his number.
I'm really highly considering moving out of this shitty city this year. I'm turning eighteen soon, I can do what I please. I also picked up on smoking cigarettes regularly, so I'm feeling pretty shitty about that. But things change. I'm obviously not the same person I was four months ago. I'm a whole new me, even if it's not the best version of myself. It's new. And I guess we're always changing. And life's always changing us.
I don't know. I guess I actually didn't say very much like you were probably expecting. But I will be writing more. I forgot all about this little blog and I'm surprised people still continue to check it out. I saw the stats, some of you guys are here everyday! That's insane! I have a lot of love for those of you who don't me shit. Speaking of which, Amy, if you see this, you know who you are. The supposed 'Katie Kampenfelt" you're saying was found dead in December? That's such bullshit, Katie Kampenfelt is fiction! Who do you think I am? I'm definitely not Katie Kampenfelt. Also I've had this blog since April of 2015. So I mean, I've been here awhile. Get lost!